A Truly Remarkable Parrot

Mrs, Green had a truly remarkable parrot and when
the vicar came to tea one afternoon she could not
resist demonstrating to him how clever her pet was.
"If you pull this little string on its left leg,
Polly will sing 'Abide Wide Me"" said Mrs.Green proudly.
"And if you pull the string on its right leg it will sing ' Onward
Christian Soldiers'"
"How wonderful!" exclaimed the vicar.
"And what happens if you pull both strings at ones'?"
"Simple!" replied the parrot. "I fall off my perch, you stupid old twit !"